Mercy Sees a Trend: Friendship

Hello everyone!! :)  As you can tell, blogging has again been placed on the back burner as Caroline, Belle, and I battle with increasing loads of school.  We also went to the annual March for Life in D.C. at the end of January!  Not only do we love this trip as it enables us to fight for the lives of all people, it has an especially dear place in our hearts as it was the March for Life of 2013 that allowed us to meet and become the trio. ;) <3  Ever since that year (the first year any of us attended the March), we have always greatly looked forward to the March, counting down the days beforehand.  Check out Belle's awesome post about it over here!

Since I came home last week, I've had a lot of time to think about the March, the annual trip there, and the friendships that have been made over the years.  It's spawned a thought that I'd like to share with you!  I do notice a trend here, though.  I talked about fair-weather friends and foul-weather friends late last year, and now I'd like to talk about friendship, in particular long distance friendship.  :)

Y'all didn't forget about my relevant quotes for literally everything, did you?  (Despite the misspelling.  Really, internet.)

I'm one of those people who gets reallyyyy attached to her friends.  Most of the friends I see in D.C., I've known them for quite a long time.  With some, I've been close friends since my freshman year, and I'm a senior now!  I go to D.C. for about a week and spend every waking minute with these amazing friends who live normally hundreds to thousands of miles away from me.  I become used to being able to give them a hug whenever I want, laugh and act crazy, go and grab coffee together, sight seeing and making memories together, late night games in the hotel lobby, serious and lighthearted talks in the hotel room...  For a week, they become a constant part of my life.  Then the last day arrives when goodbyes are said, and I break down in tears.  Several times.  Trust me, it's not something I enjoy doing. xD  Such departures are usually accompanied by but not limited to the following symptoms:  days of depression as I melancholically wonder why in the world my best friends live so incredibly far away; wondering if it's even worth it; resolving that it is definitely worth it; late night bouts of tears; and/or a lack of motivation in any and all things.  

A life without friendship is a dull life indeed.  Life without friendship would be boring, lifeless, empty, hollow...  I know for a fact that I would not be the person I've grown into today without my friends; I am almost positive I would be a much worse person.  Sure, I've made mistakes with certain friendships, but overall, my friends have helped me grow into a better person!  Mother Teresa said, "Don't expect your friend to be a perfect person.  But help your friend to become a perfect person.  That is a true friendship."  I truly believe that my friends have helped me to mature into a better person, and I can only hope and pray that I have done the same for them.

However, there was a time in my life where I certainly felt friendless.  I moved my freshman year, and I wasn't a very outgoing person back then.  Contrarily, I was actually rather shy (which my friends now find quite difficult to believe xD).  I had a great difficulty in talking to people, and while I could make "friends," I never felt comfortable calling them up, asking if they wanted to hang out, doing things that you'd imagine friends normally doing!  I also felt like I didn't truly connect with any, but that might have been because I wasn't confident enough to pursue the friendship more.  So I was relatively friendless, and it wasn't very much fun, I can tell you that. :P  At that time in my life, I gravitated to this online board where I met other homeschoolers who used the same homeschooling program as I, Mother of Divine Grace.  (Totally and completely in support of this program, btw.)  Through this program and board, I met many amazing and wonderful people.  Since it wasn't in real life, I felt so much more at ease talking with them, and I began to make many friends!  However, there was one downfall.  I lived in Wisconsin.  They lived literally everywhere else but my state, such as Texas, California, Nebraska, the East Coast, etc.  The distance didn't bother me as much at first, but as I grew closer with these friends, it was really hard to realize that I couldn't see them face to face like normal friends can, that certain aspects of our friendship were missing...

See, a quote for everything.

I began to wonder if maybe, were these actually true friends?  Was it actually possible for two people who lived hundreds of miles away to be close friends or friends at all?  I mean, they didn't know my habits, they didn't know that I don't like raisins, that I don't like pineapple even though I try it again and again, that I stand on one leg like a flamingo, that I am an incessant tapper...  All these little habits, knowing them was what made a friendship...wasn't it?

That answer is, it's not.  Sure, maybe they might be a little important.  But is the fact that I don't like raisins going to be a friendship breaker if we meet in real life?  It's not.  What makes a true friendship is two people trying to create a friendship and then putting effort into keeping it.  I talk with my friends quite often.  Chatting, Skype, video or phone calls, texting... We stay in touch.  We have both lighthearted and serious discussions.  Maybe we're discussing music or the benefits of homeschooling.  Arguing over a TV show or discussing what we wish to accomplish with our lives.  My point is that if this person and I want to have a strong friendship, if we put the effort into it, if we try, we'll succeed, even if I can't see my friend face to face or hear my friend's voice.  Closeness has nothing to do with distance.  They are two separate identities and are not related.

Every time I have met a long distance friend in real life, do you know what I have discovered?  A true, amazing, wonderful friend whom I thank God for.  I have never had an issue connecting in real life with someone whom I usually talk to over the internet.  In fact, afterwards, our online, long distance friendship seems even stronger for the meeting!  Take D.C. for example.  I had not met Belle in real life beforehand (well, we had as babies but that doesn't count) and yet we connected instantly.  My friend Peter and I had never met before D.C.  We're still strong friends to this very day.  Nikki, Chris, Sadi, Annie, Kathleen, Mary...several people whom I initially met online, have now met in real life since, and am even better friends now because of it.  I met Caroline first, but we keep in contact over the internet, and trust me, our friendship is fantastic!  Yes, leaving them is hard.  Yes, it upsets me greatly.  But you know what?  My friendship with them is worth it.  There have been countless times when they have supported me in times of trouble, been there for me when I really felt down on my luck, and listened when I needed to rant.  That is what friends do.  Friends care.

And I shall end on this happy note! :)  I hope I didn't ramble too much...  I've since broken out of my shy shell, and sometimes I forget to stop talking now. ;)