Beware the Foul-Weather Friends

Hello, everyone!  Mercy here today. :)  I don't know if you remember, but a couple weeks ago, I did post about how not to be a fair-weather friend.  Well, today's post shall be, in a way, a continuation of that post!  :) I hope you like it!

While not totally relevant, I kind of love this quote. <3

Foul-Weather Friends

Now, you may read the title of this post and think, "Foul-weather friends?  I have never heard this term before..."  While it is true that a number of people might not be aware of these types of friends, this is simply because most people don't discuss it.  To briefly summarize it, a foul-weather friend is a friend who comes to you when she is in need.  You may go, "But that's a good thing!  I want my friends to come to me when they need help!"  Yes, my dears, it is a good thing.  But you see, in the case of a foul-weather friend, she ONLY comes to you when she's in need.  Whether she got a horrible grade on her paper, she's in trouble with her parents, or she needs advice about some awful predicament, she comes to you when she needs help.  I know it can feel wonderful to think that she trusts you so much that she comes to you when she needs someone to vent to, but please, my lovely readers, hear me out.

Picture an imaginary girl in your head.  Name her Girl No. 1.  Pretend that Girl No. 1 called you last week to tell you about how awful, awful, awful her job is, how she never receives the credit she deserves, how everyone is against her.  You sympathize, try to cheer her up, do everything in your power to make her smile.  And eventually, she does!  You feel wonderful, and you ask if she's free to meet for coffee and a movie in a few days.  She then declines and says, "Maybe some other time!"  A week or two soon pass away, and you haven't heard from her; she didn't answer your calls when you left her a message about your awful day, not even a text back.  A few more days pass, and suddenly your phone rings.  You grab it and hey, her name is on the caller ID!  Picking it up, thankful for a grateful, sympathizing listener, you're met with groans and moans as she grumbles about something else, leaving no room for you to talk.  This cycle then repeats itself.

I know that it can feel really encouraging to have someone depend upon you when she is in trouble, but my girls, this isn't really a healthy friendship.  To only go to someone when you need help, but to not care about them otherwise...do you see what I mean?

*Mercy likes lots of quotes*

Maybe you are this friend.  If you are, you probably aren't aware of it.  But if reading this suddenly triggers some reminiscences about previous conversations you've held with some friends, it's not too late to change!  Call them up and ask if they want to meet for coffee!  Send them a text asking, "Hey, we seem to talk about me all the time.  How are YOU doing today?"  Make an honest effort to listen to them.  I cannot stress this enough. Listen.  Listen, listen, listen.  It is one of the most important tools.  To speak well is an easy task, but to listen?  That is a rare quality.  Despite how overused the phrase, "How are you?" is, it's a good phrase.  Maybe they'll brush it off and say they're fine, but if you have this feeling that they're not, ask them.  Say that you care and if they have issues, you're always open, just like they were for you! :)

Now, if you aren't this friend but you have a friend like this, here is what I suggest doing.  Call this friend.  Explain your feelings.  Please, don't be accusing.  I know that it can be hard not to say, "You have been rude and careless to me and that's hurtful," but when you accuse someone in such a way, her brain's instinct will be to shut you out and become stubborn.  Go about it in a soft manner.  "I feel like when we talk, our conversation usually revolves around you...  I like to help you, and I definitely don't mind doing it because I care about you!  But sometimes, I do need help, too...  Can you please help me, too?"  Be kind, but firm at the same time.  If she refuses to see sense, give her a few days.  However, if the cycle still continues, that might mean that you need to distance yourself a little.  Find better friends.  Trust me, there are some out there!  :)

This made me laugh. xD

As did this one. xD

Well, girls, I hope y'all enjoyed today's post (as well as the not so relevant quotes...)!  :)  I loved writing it!  Do you like this friendship series?  If you do, I'll keep it up and perhaps post another one sometime later!  Love y'all!  Keep your chins up, dears.  <3  ~Mercy