I've actually started a post several times over the past few weeks, but I feel like I shouldn't or maybe couldn't post it, so I delete it and go back to doing school and try to forget about it. But you know? It never really worked. I'd like to try my hand at this post, and it could be a flop, but it might not be, and I hope it isn't. This post is just my personal thoughts on a subject dear to my heart, and I hope you like it. :)
Dreams
Dreams. Such common things, flitting through our
minds at least ten to fifteen times a day.
Some of our dreams are not too life-changing; perhaps we dream of
planning the most perfect birthday party or (dare we even hope?) receiving an A
on our final math test. Others matter much
more to us. Do we wish to travel the
world? Publish a book? Compose music? No matter the true significance of the dream, though,
when we create that dream, it may appear at that moment as the most important
and dearest thing in the world to us.
Now,
this is the point at which you cue John Lennon’s song Imagine. “Now you may say I’m a dreamer….” I am
a dreamer. I hope. I wish.
Sometimes, though, I hope and I wish too much. I have this one little habit of becoming far
too attached, whether it is to a song, book, fictional character, friend, or
even a dream. Especially dreams. When I “build my castles in the air,” I tend
to design them much less airy than they should be but more concrete. I create examples and images, scenes, in my
head, of events that could occur in the future in my castles. I become so excited about my castles because
they seem so tangible. All I need to do is reach out, take one more step forward, make it through just a few more months, and then...I'll be there, finally. (CAUTION: I do not advise doing
this. You will see why.)
Some
of my dreams are so silly; looking back upon them makes me laugh. Did you know I used to dream of visiting Neverland? I used to dream that my childhood hero Peter
Pan would one day fly to my window and he’d take me off on wondrous adventures
to Neverland, where I would meet the Lost Boys and become best friends with
Tinkerbell and turn Captain Hook into a good man and go swimming with the
mermaids. Now, that was a childhood
dream. When I discovered there really
wasn’t a hope of that one becoming true, I wasn’t exactly heartbroken. ;)
Other
dreams, though…other dreams, it was much harder for me to acknowledge that
maybe they weren’t going to come true, after all. I’ve had a few instances like that occur
lately. Now, I prefer not to enter into
the details as it is personal and I would rather not share every little thing
about my life. I’m sure you understand.
;) But to allow you to grasp the
overarching meaning that I’m trying to get across, these dreams were important
and very real to me. They included both
my present and my future, which means they could have actually happened. I wanted them to happen so badly, it
hurt. I wished and I dreamed and I
prayed and I crossed my fingers. I was
practically certain that I was going to begin to lay the earthly foundation
fairly soon for my castles in the air.
One
day, though, I had a somewhat rude awakening when I realized that God didn't
seem to be calling me to my dreams. To
my surprise and devastation, He seemed to be leading me elsewhere! To someone who laid so much in store in these
dreams, so much of my future…this was really hard for me to accept. I practically had to demolish the future I
had been solidly planning for over the past six months and start anew. This was a really difficult process for me,
and I really don’t share much of the inner happenings of my mind with people either, so not a lot of people knew what was going on in my head. But the loss of my dreams threw me into this
feeling of loneliness, desperation, almost bordering on anger…
I’ve
accepted it, though. I've grown because
of it, too. People truly do mature and
grow out of suffering. I’ve realized
that dreams, while they are important, aren’t my entire world. They should be left in the future, where they
belong. The future does not exist; only
this moment exists. I should plan for
the future, because to not do so would be, well, stupid. However, to quote that old idiom, I shouldn’t
place all my eggs in one basket, or in this case, one dream. Dreams are nice, little things that are pleasant
to dwell upon and create, but they are no more. They are no more realistic than
the dreams our mind creates while we sleep.
Yes, aspire to your dreams! Work
toward them, by all means! But please do
not believe that your future is going to happen exactly that way. God has so much in store for you, beyond your
wildest dreams, and to attempt to conceive all that now…it’s practically
impossible. J
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Well, that's my post, y'all. :) I hope you enjoyed it! I wasn't exactly sure where I was going through with this at first... I didn't have a set plan in my head except that I wanted to lay these thoughts out for others beside myself. I hope y'all enjoyed reading the ramblings of my mind! If you've been undergoing a similar situation recently, too, now you know that you are not alone and you can always write me! :)
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