*ahem*
JEALOUSY. *gold star for you if you didn't sing the Nick Jonas song in your head*
^It starts at a surprisingly early age.
Look at the girl who's second from the left. (DAT STINK FACE THO)
There's one person we know who seems like he/she has it all, and he/she exists to make us feel bad about ourselves. (At least that's what we think.) Everything he/she does annoys us for no apparent reason, because we resent the fact that he/she possesses something that we don't have. It could be beauty, athletic talent, musical ability, basically any positive defining attribute that separates you as individuals.
For instance.... Let's say you're sitting with a group of people, just talking 'bout stuff and life and things. During the conversation, one of your friends starts telling you about how she just went on a cruise to the Caribbean and happened to find a cute pirate boyfriend (not unlike Will Turner) who heroically saved her from drowning. You're nodding and smiling like the good friend you are, but on the inside, a little voice starts talking to you.
'Why is she rubbing this in my face on purpose? Why is she the one who gets to go on expensive vacations and have exciting adventures? I deserve it more than she does. If only I could just get a pirate boyfriend.. I wish she would just stop talking about it. Ugh. '
^^^ DANGER ALERT DANGER. ^^^^
Comparison is a losing battle, but unfortunately, it's one we all fight every day.
Nothing good is going to come from comparing yourself to other people and finding all of the ways that you 'don't measure up,' or all the things that you don't have. Why? Because we're all different, that's why. I realize that it sounds cliché, like 'everyone is a special snowflake' or something, but it rings true. Some people will be naturally good at playing basketball, and others will be naturally good at playing the banjo. It's just what God gifted them with. If you accept yourself as you are with all your gifts and shortcomings and stop wishing you were someone else, you're going to be unstoppable. And wanna know something cool? Once you start loving yourself and being happy with the gifts God gave you, you can be truly happy when someone has a bit of good fortune. Like remember your friend who went to the Caribbean? Instead of being jealous of her adventures, you can be glad that she had a good time because you're secure in your own sense of self, and you don't feel the need to compare.
(Also, Mercy has some thoughts as well!)
Along the line of accepting your own faults, I'd like to bring to mind that I do believe we carry a double standard for ourselves. What do I mean by this? Carry on reading! We all have close friends whom we love dearly! But we also know that these close friends have many faults. That doesn't stop us from loving them and thinking they are simply wonderful people, though, does it? Faults or no, we accept our friends entirely and love them with our whole hearts! If we can easily accept our friends' imperfections, why do we have such a hard time with our own? For example, your friend, Jane, calls you one night in tears because she thinks she failed her math final. You, being the caring friend you are, reassure her that she did her best, one test will not sign her death warrant, and you are sure things will turn out alright in the end! However, if you break down because you think you failed your English final, suddenly you berate yourself for being weak, silly, overemotional. Do you see the double standard here? Try to remember to love yourself like you love others!!
-Mercy
It's especially hard to avoid jealousy and comparison when we have apps that let us look at constructions of people's lives. (*ahem* Instagram, Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest) I say the word construction because it really doesn't give you the whole picture. The person who owns the account decides what they let the world see, and most of us probably want to be seen as happy, successful, and thriving. So remember that what you see on someone's social media account may not necessarily be reality.
Also, if you find yourself getting jealous and thinking about all the things you don't have, a good strategy to counteract that would be to think of all the things you're grateful for. Make a list (like this one):
So let's do a quick recap.
When do we get jealous?
When we start comparing ourselves to others.
Why is it bad to compare yourself with another person?
Because you are a unique individual with your own gifts and talents, and so is the other person. You both are unprecedented.
What are good ways to counteract jealousy?
1. Love and accept yourself the way that God made you
2. ^^When that happens, you can be happy for other people
3. Remember that appearances aren't everything.
4. Also, remember all the gifts that you've been given
I hope this helps, and have a good rest of the week!! See you next time :)
-Caroline
2 comments:
This is SUCH a great post. <3 I agree that internet just makes jealousy and comparison soooo much easier... It's something we all have to be really careful of. (oh and that picture of the little girls = perfect for this. <3) I do find that making lists of my blessings is super helpful!
Anyway, this was spot-on!! You girls are fabulous.
Aw, thanks Kathryn!! We think you're fabulous too :)
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